Was I suppose to write away about my own expression for you?
Write about the wrinkles and then smooth them down?
The raindrops collapse on my fingers as I pen about you
And the table, a plethera of confusion
I sit upon the curb while the rest awaits my rhymes
Rhyme for me
Ryhme for me
A terrible madness when you quietly think that you can't
I'll try
I'll try
The water a soul catcher, collecting indiviual faces
Rapidly searching for troubled souls within hollow places
Transparent flowers fall through my shaky hands
All apples are yellow and the red rains on my land
I can't do anymore right at this moment
I'm not brilliant and the words aren't of a brilliant sonnet
I'm sorry
And I'm sorry once more
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Im drifting into the drifter
I blacked out...
Blacked out of my dream
Blacked out of truth
Blacked out of my own oblivion
I poison myself to open the floodgate and to feel the endured torture. Slices on my own heart have been reflected on my broken down face. I wanted to be free and to live amongst the gems. To uncover the soiled diamonds that've shown from underneath the shrubbery. I can hold myself everyday but my own arms don't quite reach around. I am happy and I am sad. What I do in between is just a shadow. The lights don't shine until I beg them to. In front of me are dying flowers urging the droplets of water to wash over their leafy stems. To give them a birth of resistance and a will to live beautifully. They want too much and they are too much. Im too much, so I'm told. Maybe not though, maybe Im sliding off the edge because for once their will be an enity of my own illusion to come pick me up. Have a cigarette and drink this vanilla coffee. Settle down and be you for a while. I am me though. People don't understand that when I spread my arms and fall, that I don't feel ashamed... just free. Im free when everyone else is sitting in their own made up belief of how people should really be. I want what "normal" people want. A house full of laughter,poker nights,light beer, a dog, a cat, a handsome man,beautiful children, ha a garden as well. A kitchen infused with a bacon scent and walls with puzzling wallpaper, it sounds nice doesn't it? I want a life that makes others happy. I am selfish but when I'm not I get scolded for worrying about others. Catch 22 anyone? The only privledge I desire for others, is that they remain safely noticed. We all search for that little spectacle called happiness. What is it? Who is it? What does it do? When will I know? Will I ever feel it again? Just stop... I whisper. Its a drifter wit no intentions of stickin around. They have an embroidery of stories and quilts for quick wits. It sleeps in your bed with the lights down and has you under its eyes. Its a soft netting for a let down, but it comes round when it hears that familiar sound...tender crying. Sometimes I wanna reach inside myself and tell it "hey baby, you're leaving too soon, a little too soon for me. I am happy because one true moment of bliss shuts out the unrest.
Blacked out of my dream
Blacked out of truth
Blacked out of my own oblivion
I poison myself to open the floodgate and to feel the endured torture. Slices on my own heart have been reflected on my broken down face. I wanted to be free and to live amongst the gems. To uncover the soiled diamonds that've shown from underneath the shrubbery. I can hold myself everyday but my own arms don't quite reach around. I am happy and I am sad. What I do in between is just a shadow. The lights don't shine until I beg them to. In front of me are dying flowers urging the droplets of water to wash over their leafy stems. To give them a birth of resistance and a will to live beautifully. They want too much and they are too much. Im too much, so I'm told. Maybe not though, maybe Im sliding off the edge because for once their will be an enity of my own illusion to come pick me up. Have a cigarette and drink this vanilla coffee. Settle down and be you for a while. I am me though. People don't understand that when I spread my arms and fall, that I don't feel ashamed... just free. Im free when everyone else is sitting in their own made up belief of how people should really be. I want what "normal" people want. A house full of laughter,poker nights,light beer, a dog, a cat, a handsome man,beautiful children, ha a garden as well. A kitchen infused with a bacon scent and walls with puzzling wallpaper, it sounds nice doesn't it? I want a life that makes others happy. I am selfish but when I'm not I get scolded for worrying about others. Catch 22 anyone? The only privledge I desire for others, is that they remain safely noticed. We all search for that little spectacle called happiness. What is it? Who is it? What does it do? When will I know? Will I ever feel it again? Just stop... I whisper. Its a drifter wit no intentions of stickin around. They have an embroidery of stories and quilts for quick wits. It sleeps in your bed with the lights down and has you under its eyes. Its a soft netting for a let down, but it comes round when it hears that familiar sound...tender crying. Sometimes I wanna reach inside myself and tell it "hey baby, you're leaving too soon, a little too soon for me. I am happy because one true moment of bliss shuts out the unrest.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Goodmorning fate, its been a long time
I'm trying to make my life better...
There is a weight sitting upon my chest and I don't know how to get rid of it. Its a mass of all things I tend to worry about. When was feeling alive... enough? Sometimes when I look into the sky, I grieve as I see a plane fly by. Always dashing through the stars and then streaming through the smokers relief. My success was important to me. Wanting to be involved with movies and standing out amongst the growing crowd, all living off of my existence. At one time I wanted to be locked away from society, atleast for a little while. To get ahold of my being, to speak to the lover,intelligence,wisdom, and then my goals. These immature thoughts felt like wet sand. The feeling was incredible between my spine and brain, but it was unrealistic and messy. Im a nineteen year old girl, who thinks the world seems hard but feels as if it could be a little bit easier...just maybe. These days I linger behind romance,music, and ideas. Just being the one person who could see. I cringe because I see so well. Behind another persons eyes, the affliction resides behind mine too and my body wants to escape along with them. I have forgotten all of the memories that once meant the universe to someone as careless as me. The universe so free spirited and quiet, just like me. I use to beg myself to burn down the fires that scorched my soul. To embrace the scum that may lie beneath the creators fingernails. I try to endure the fates that caress my solace. My heart isn't exactly empty, but full of rushing water. A typhoon that cleanses my singed endings. Nothing ever ends, now does it? I go on with paper skin and brittle organs. I keep strong and press for truth. The truth I seek doesn't seem to organized... but neither do I. No, Im the one person that shouldn't speak. Atleast for now...
Goodmorning, how are you?
I'm quite alright, just killing the time
How are you?
Can't complain, when its the same everyday
Seeing the sun rise and set through those windows, gets me
I have a bag packed for the day I finally find the mind to leave
I'd say take my hand and we'll go together, but I can't find myself
Have you seen me?
Someone with hopes lasting through many yesterdays?
You know its funny you mentioned that, because I think I'm missing too
I see alot of people around here and but it seems like theres only a few
But when I find her, you'll be the only person I'll come too
There is a weight sitting upon my chest and I don't know how to get rid of it. Its a mass of all things I tend to worry about. When was feeling alive... enough? Sometimes when I look into the sky, I grieve as I see a plane fly by. Always dashing through the stars and then streaming through the smokers relief. My success was important to me. Wanting to be involved with movies and standing out amongst the growing crowd, all living off of my existence. At one time I wanted to be locked away from society, atleast for a little while. To get ahold of my being, to speak to the lover,intelligence,wisdom, and then my goals. These immature thoughts felt like wet sand. The feeling was incredible between my spine and brain, but it was unrealistic and messy. Im a nineteen year old girl, who thinks the world seems hard but feels as if it could be a little bit easier...just maybe. These days I linger behind romance,music, and ideas. Just being the one person who could see. I cringe because I see so well. Behind another persons eyes, the affliction resides behind mine too and my body wants to escape along with them. I have forgotten all of the memories that once meant the universe to someone as careless as me. The universe so free spirited and quiet, just like me. I use to beg myself to burn down the fires that scorched my soul. To embrace the scum that may lie beneath the creators fingernails. I try to endure the fates that caress my solace. My heart isn't exactly empty, but full of rushing water. A typhoon that cleanses my singed endings. Nothing ever ends, now does it? I go on with paper skin and brittle organs. I keep strong and press for truth. The truth I seek doesn't seem to organized... but neither do I. No, Im the one person that shouldn't speak. Atleast for now...
Goodmorning, how are you?
I'm quite alright, just killing the time
How are you?
Can't complain, when its the same everyday
Seeing the sun rise and set through those windows, gets me
I have a bag packed for the day I finally find the mind to leave
I'd say take my hand and we'll go together, but I can't find myself
Have you seen me?
Someone with hopes lasting through many yesterdays?
You know its funny you mentioned that, because I think I'm missing too
I see alot of people around here and but it seems like theres only a few
But when I find her, you'll be the only person I'll come too
Sunday, November 6, 2011
BRUSH THOSE TEETH
I don't feel like brushing my goddamn teeth. Every man that comes up to me, I just want to breathe a foul odor into their nostrils. All I see above their bobbing heads, are the words tits,ass,sex,and the phrase "please know when to shut up." Speaking of that, I measured my boobs today. A WHOPPING C CUP! Boredom and looking down, makes me do strange things. I keep losing weight (small boobs) and gain weight (big boobs) I'm an ocean current when it comes to my physique and mentality. Well after my rant: On to my real intro dum di dum di dum
I am
S:Swift
A:Adaptable
M:makeshift
A:Aromatic
N:Numberless
T:Tense
H:Handsome
A:Aggressive
Things about me
I like to pop my pimples
I love to peel off skin
I chew the skin around my thumb nail
I bite my significant others when I'm excited
I'm sensitive but can come back full force
I'm allergic to my favorite things but I endure the pain (Cats,Soy milk,Orange Juice,etc)
I love getting jealous but I know the limit
I annoy people so they'll leave me alone
I don't fall in love easily
One time a roman candle almost collided with my head... now I'm scared of fireworks
I HATE hair! When I shave everything goes.
I like crying. It makes me feel better
I love strong jaw bones or cheek bones
I like scars
I love hands and touching them
I like when people sniff me
I hate being ignored or being annoyed
I believe fetuses have souls but I still believe in abortion(reincarnation keeps me sane)
Im an intense person, causing others to look away from my eyes.
I day dream ALL the time. Things about love,fantasy,magic, etc
I thrive off being heartbroken. It gives me the tools to write and do other creative shit
I don't hate people...I have my reasons
I eat my feelings
Im a sexual person and I don't dare deny it
I don't look at the human body as a taboo thing
Vulnerable and Vulnerability... these words make my body freeze
I love when my stomach drops as I drive over a hill or down one
I like picking off icicles
The smell of gasoline makes me reminisce
Its not hard to make me smile
This is a start to who I am...
More posts to come
I am
S:Swift
A:Adaptable
M:makeshift
A:Aromatic
N:Numberless
T:Tense
H:Handsome
A:Aggressive
Things about me
I like to pop my pimples
I love to peel off skin
I chew the skin around my thumb nail
I bite my significant others when I'm excited
I'm sensitive but can come back full force
I'm allergic to my favorite things but I endure the pain (Cats,Soy milk,Orange Juice,etc)
I love getting jealous but I know the limit
I annoy people so they'll leave me alone
I don't fall in love easily
One time a roman candle almost collided with my head... now I'm scared of fireworks
I HATE hair! When I shave everything goes.
I like crying. It makes me feel better
I love strong jaw bones or cheek bones
I like scars
I love hands and touching them
I like when people sniff me
I hate being ignored or being annoyed
I believe fetuses have souls but I still believe in abortion(reincarnation keeps me sane)
Im an intense person, causing others to look away from my eyes.
I day dream ALL the time. Things about love,fantasy,magic, etc
I thrive off being heartbroken. It gives me the tools to write and do other creative shit
I don't hate people...I have my reasons
I eat my feelings
Im a sexual person and I don't dare deny it
I don't look at the human body as a taboo thing
Vulnerable and Vulnerability... these words make my body freeze
I love when my stomach drops as I drive over a hill or down one
I like picking off icicles
The smell of gasoline makes me reminisce
Its not hard to make me smile
This is a start to who I am...
More posts to come
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