Goodmorning fate, its been a long time

I'm trying to make my life better...
There is a weight sitting upon my chest and I don't know how to get rid of it. Its a mass of all things I tend to worry about. When was feeling alive... enough? Sometimes when I look into the sky, I grieve as I see a plane fly by. Always dashing through the stars and then streaming through the smokers relief. My success was important to me. Wanting to be involved with movies and standing out amongst the growing crowd, all living off of my existence. At one time I wanted to be locked away from society, atleast for a little while. To get ahold of my being, to speak to the lover,intelligence,wisdom, and then my goals. These immature thoughts felt like wet sand. The feeling was incredible between my spine and brain, but it was unrealistic and messy. Im a nineteen year old girl, who thinks the world seems hard but feels as if it could be a little bit easier...just maybe. These days I linger behind romance,music, and ideas. Just being the one person who could see. I cringe because I see so well. Behind another persons eyes, the affliction resides behind mine too and my body wants to escape along with them. I have forgotten all of the memories that once meant the universe to someone as careless as me. The universe so free spirited and quiet, just like me. I use to beg myself to burn down the fires that scorched my soul. To embrace the scum that may lie beneath the creators fingernails. I try to endure the fates that caress my solace. My heart isn't exactly empty, but full of rushing water. A typhoon that cleanses my singed endings. Nothing ever ends, now does it? I go on with paper skin and brittle organs. I keep strong and press for truth. The truth I seek doesn't seem to organized... but neither do I. No, Im the one person that shouldn't speak. Atleast for now...

Goodmorning, how are you?
I'm quite alright, just killing the time
How are you?
Can't complain, when its the same everyday
Seeing the sun rise and set through those windows, gets me
I have a bag packed for the day I finally find the mind to leave
I'd say take my hand and we'll go together, but I can't find myself
Have you seen me?
Someone with hopes lasting through many yesterdays?
You know its funny you mentioned that, because I think I'm missing too
I see alot of people around here and but it seems like theres only a few
But when I find her, you'll be the only person I'll come too