Last night I did something I know I will not regret. Someone who I've loved for over a year has finally pushed me to the limit. Everyone knows that I am very patient with people, and that I'm always understanding. This guy literally made me crazy. One minute I'm the best person in the world; the next I'm nothing? Yeah I can be overbearing and very sensitive, but its for good reasons. For those who know me well; they know I am completely mad. All the best people are...
Now I'm not going to sit here, and pretend I didn't have any fault either. Rejecting this persons love and begging for attention at any cost; was an immature act. When he brushed up against me; I had felt butterflies and the prickling of "I'm in trouble." What terrifies me more than anything, is that I will never get the feeling again. Sometimes I think that I should of ran away from him. I saw his picture and just knew. I can't kill myself this way though. I begged for his love, when he should of been begging for mine. Yes, I am very torn up. Yes, I could use a nice gesture. Yes, I want to fall apart. Falling apart is so easy, but pulling yourself together is the hardest. I know that he probably doesn't care, and I accept that. Our time maybe meant nothing to him, but it meant the world to me. I say this to every person who may be in the same situation. Do not give yourself to someone who is not invested. It'll kill you. He doesn't want a relationship with because he doesn't know me at all. How am I suppose to be myself around someone who is condescending and judgmental? I try to talk about something and I get shut down about how I said a word wrong or how getting a test of my knowledge in history. Am I not allowed to be wrong? No I'm not the brightest person in the world but I'm happy with myself.
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